Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Everything at once!

I started teaching another ESL class today--they're more advanced beginner level. I haven't taught a lower-level class in a while, so I was nervous. But I'm glad to have this class. They are friendly and motivated. They know they need to work on their skills, they're not yet resentful of the fact that they have to work on their skills. Plus, my tendency to pantomime and use really exaggerated body language to explain vocabulary is actually necessary and even appreciated.

Today the wireless router got all weird. All the security settings that Bill Howe helped me set up and which I actually managed to maintain went away, and the network defaulted back to being called "Linksys" and having no security settings. I can't access the router IP to change the settings. I reset the router and somehow changed the network name and made a WPA Key--but I did that all through the software interface program thing on my computer, not by going in and changing the settings manually. I still can't access the settings manually. In theory, when I reset the router, the password should have defaulted to "admin," but it didn't. And the old password I used doesn't work. And now that the network has a new name, I have no idea how to change things manually. But it is encrypted, and working. I guess that's good, but I am uneasy.

Today I decided that I have to turn down an almost formal (they want to check my references) full-time job offer with a salary that is kind of shocking (in a good way). I felt a little sick about it all riding home, but I just can't do it: I make a living, pay my bills, eliminate debt, save, and travel with my freelance work and teaching. I'm not getting rich, but I don't feel insane about my work, and I have a flexibility that could never be matched with a full-time job. I can go to yoga in the middle of the morning or afternoon. I'd have to use all my vacation time to visit my family or travel for poetry and art things, and I don't really want to have to do that. I don't want to have to explain to my boss why it is essential that I leave work at 3:00 pm so that I can make it to a 4:30 reading. I want to work like crazy, but work the late hours at home, with Mark around and Lester on my lap and jazz music playing. And mostly what I want is to have work interfere as little as possible with writing and art. So, no to the full-time job.

I did have a very nice bike ride cursing down Palomar Airport road and along the 101 though, just before sunset. (And riding down Palomar Airport road after dark would be nearly suicidal, especially where it crosses the 5). It was one of those "oh, it is very beautiful here" moments. It isn't always beautiful here, but it was this afternoon.

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