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I have no brain. I'm here with my bird sitting under my hair on the back of my neck, and I'm a little headachy from my wine. I thought I was going to work tonight but in fact I was supposed to work Wednesday night. Something of a screw up.

Hey y'all, my brother is giving a seminar on "Identification and Estimation of the Efficiency and Equity Effects of Segregation" in mid-November. I like the idea that the effects of segregation can be measured and understood. I don't know if I believe it though, but I like the idea.

There is a mouse that has been crawling into Lester's cage and eating his food. I don't like this.

I have a balcony. Near the balcony are some trees. In the trees there are birds. The birds sing when the sun goes down. This is something I like.

Things my students have mentioned about the United States:

1. Strangers come up to them and make (usually) nice comments about their children.
2. People in the United States like free things.

Some things I learned today teaching ESL:

I almost never use the imparative command form. Rarely do I even bother with some of the stronger modals used to give advice (I suggest..., we ought to..., we must...etc) or make polite requests (would you mind....?). Instead, I use a very meek and polite "Let's..." or "Why don't we...?" I used "shall I..." in a poem once.

In Papua New Guinea there are Sulfer-Crested Cockatoos. I knew one named Surf. He ate our bananas. I should like to go birdwatching in Papua New Guinea someday.

There was a very large bug in my classroom this morning. It was fast and had many legs.

Look at some pictures of Tabubil (ooo, I used the imparative form)! I was there when I was a youngin' and one could (maybe one still can) swim in the rivers--I forget which one we swam in--either the OK Tedi or the OK Minga. But there is STILL no real workable road to Tabubil, more than twenty years later.

If anyone would like to fund my inevitable return trip to Tabubil, send me an email.

Reasons to Love Emus

There are several pictures of me with Emus, but none of them are digital yet. Resons to love Emus:

• Fast runner, can reach speeds of up to 40 mph for short bursts.
• Running bird can make a stride of nine feet.
• Expert swimmer.
• Bill is broad and soft, adapted for browsing and grazing.
• When food is abundant, large stores of fat are developed.
• They move great distances for food except when males are sitting on eggs.

Jobs to apply for

Meatcutter Leader
Supervisory Chemist
Chemist
Supervisory Electronics Technician
Electronics Technician
E-Organizer/Systems Administrator/HellRaiser
Death Penalty Coordinator

I am a maid

I am a maid that sleeps in love, for I am a maid that's deep in love and I dare not once complain, I am a maid supplier from Indonesia, I am a maid agency in Singapore, but I also supply maids to other agencies, I am a maid that sleeps in love and cannot feel my pain, for though I am a maid, I can easily believe as how all men are not equally agreeable, once I am recovered from the apparent physical effects, and he understands that I think I am a maid, you must convince him that the effects are only temporary and that my memory will come back by itself, I am a maid, my lord, that ne'er before invited eyes, but have been gazed on like a comet, Sir, I demand, I am a maid named Iris, I am a maid that's deep in love But, yes, I can complain I have in this world but one true love, God is my witness, I am a maid, I am a maid of shots & pills swivel the lights of Beverly Hills, it’s for to wed your eldest son I am a maid oer mean, I’ll rather stay at home and die for Hazelgreen, I told you that I am a maid, a servant, I am a maid looking for houses to clean, but Saturdays only, well I am married with 2 kids so therefore i am a maid doctor cook jungle gym teacher human napkin and a gardner, I am a maid that's deep in love but yes I can complain, for once I was a sailor on sea but now I am a maid on shore,
I am a maid-servant of the Sairindhri class. I tell thee this truly, I know to dress the hair to pound fragrant substances for preparing unguents, I'll swear I am a maid, and he knows not, I am a Maid of Honor to the Queen of England, then for your heart to me resign befor your parents know it O then said she as I am a maid with you I'll freely marry I will no longer be afraid , but I am a maid and they think that I Should content me with weaving tapestry, I am no strumpet, by my life, I am a maid, and, as by my nature, and by my semblant and by my vesture, Myn handes been nat shapen for a knyf, I pretend I am a maid, the fact that I am a woman does not mean that I am a maid, am wearing a red hat in one scene, and I am a maid in another scene, and I am a lawyer in another, I am so excited you are here, I can walk down a residential street in a white neighborhood and no one will think that I am a maid or gardener, I am a Maid, not a Stone, I am a maid, but not a slave, But take this head-band, which the woman that made it gave to me; for it is not proper that I should wear it, because I am a maid-servant, people often think that I am a maid or housekeeper, and they say to me, "Oh how come they make you take care of so many children? I AM A MAID THAT NEEDS A MISTRESS TO IRON FOR AS SHE LAYS THE WHIP TO ME, I am a maid. A Big, glorified, maid. It's not that I resent doing these chores, but there's nothing special about me doing them. Anyone could do them. I am a maid within, And you're a fool without. I am a bachelor; and more than that I am a maid.
I am a maid who is looking for a lot of email training. So I want to ask all mistresses to mail me. I am a maid in sorrow to complain, I am a maid of honor (actually matron) at my best friend's wedding, I am a maid untouched, my wisdom, and somedeal of might, abideth with me, and only so long.

Some things that are true

• I thought I saw a rat in the apartment two days ago.
• I thought I saw a rat in the apartment yesterday.
• It is Monday.
• I baked two flaxseed and soy carrot cakes on Sunday.
• My flaxseed-soy carrot cake actually tastes good.
• On Saturday I ate vegan cake with "OM" written on it.
• There is a lot of talk about food and eating, metaphorically, in the first books of the Upanishads.
• I've been reading Orlando, by Virginia Woolf.
• I've been reading fast-paced nonfiction about Papua New Guinea and Melanesia.
• I have been thinking about tree kangaroos.
• I've started writing poems every evening after reading the Upanishads and now I'm worried that I'm writing some dull feminist creation myth series. Feminist creation myths are great, but they've been done before.
• Is a Buddhist angel a dharmapala or dodhisattva?
• Encinitas, California has letter streets.
• I am going to make some mint tea.

Today's Ailments

• It is Monday
• My bird is still ill. I have begun to suspect that he may be suffering from megabacteria. I hope this is not the case
• I can't sleep. See above
• Stomach cramps
• Sore uddiyana bandha
• Heebie-jeebies--nearly screaming meemies without the screaming part
• Wheezing
• Swolen throat
• Stuffy nose
• Hives on earlobes and the backs of knees

Today's ailments

• excessive sleepiness
• tight external rotators
• bloating
• blisters from wearing high-heel slingbacks yesterday
• blotchy skin
• bloodshot eyes
• stress from missing boyfriend and taking care of sick bird.

Some things that are true

• It is 84 and rainy.
• Lester has an infection in the back of his throat and has to take an apple-flavored antibiotic. Afterwards he is allowed to eat hemp seeds.
• I did not practice full primary-series today, but only the standing sequence.
• I had leftover Mongolian dumplings for dinner.
• I moved my coats and jackets from my closet to a newly-vacant closet. My coats and jackets take up the entire newly-vacant closet.
• Someone has lost the key to the copy room.
• I own an excessive number of beauty products.

Another poem

THIS POEM IS ABOUT HOW I WANT EVERYONE TO LOVE ME

Run, nylons, run!
Run to the board meeting.
Run to the park full of
Sparrows and stinky dogwood
Trees. We have been dying to
Talk all day. "Dying to talk" is
Overly familiar. Looking at--
What. What? You're not the
First person who's been
Dying to talk to me in a
Board room. A smoking room. A
Dried bannana peel stuck to
My ass in a suit.

Tumid leg tumid head

Tumid leg tumid head

Moving

I'm moving to San Diego. Or greater San Diego

East Coast vs. West Coast : Death Row vs. Bad Boy
Bling Blog on the East Coast vs. the West Coast, with a focus on linguistics.
Bling Blog again, this time with a focus on SF vs. NY
Bluism.comon blogs from the two coasts
John Schramm on Pizza on the East and West coasts
The Gawker ponders why East coast media doesn't take the West coast seriously.
DJ Hypertech vs. Angels of Death
Take the misterpoll test
Why "East coast bias" is outdated
East Coast / West Coast business terminology
Bigfoot hunters on the two coasts
Beer on the two coasts
Cowder on the two coasts
Who parties better?
Crowd composition

I love animals

I love animals. Animal

stories make me cry.

This probably means

I think animals are

irrelevant.

Platypus breeds poetry in motion

Platypus breeds poetry in motion

by Kate Rose

13 may 05

MILLSOM is bending over backwards for a spot in the new platypusary at Healesville Sanctuary.While platypuses are often shy, the tumbling thumb-cruncher stole the limelight from gathered luminaries at the launch of the new building. Golden domes shaped like platypus eggs will shelter the new breeding program, starting in the next few months.

Keeper Adrian Mifsud has been flat out like a platypus swimming to get the enclosure ready for the arrival of Binari, a female platypus from Taronga Zoo in Sydney.

She will be bred with Barak, who was born at Healesville in 1998. Mr Mifsud said if the program was successful it would be the first time a second-generation captive platypus was born.
BHP Billiton is funding the new platypusary.

Mt Dandenong Primary School student Anjali Lobo celebrated the opening of the enclosure with a poem called Secrets of the platypus, which won her a meeting with Millsom.

Pleading men banging on windows

A portly man, either 32, 37, or 42, followed me from the ATM to the building where I work. He wimpered behind me, occasionally saying "please, oh please." He did not follow me inside the building, but stopped on the outside of the glass doors, pushing his nose against them and rubbing it around. He banged on the glass to get my attention, so I turned around and he screamed "HELLO! HELLO!"

"Hello," I said.

Robot camel jockeys

Robot camel jockeys step into stirrups after boys barred (AFP)
Thu Apr 21, 1:49 PM ET

DOHA (AFP) - On its first run round a Qatari camel-racing course, the robot jockey has set a time seconds off the record set by a child jockey, whose use in the popular sport has been banned after international criticism.

"We're 20 seconds away from the best time using a human jockey over five kilometres (three miles)," said Alexander Colot, director of the Swiss firm K-team which has built the robot jockey for Qatar.

The robot challenged its only competitor, a child jockey, over the five-kilometre course on the Al-Shahaniya race track, near Doha, watched by spectators and media drawn to this unique event.

Gulf Arab monarchies are trying to bring order to the national sport in the face of protests over the trafficking of young children from developing countries, mostly in Asia, as jockeys.
In December, Qatar banned the use of children in camel races and said it was preparing to use robot jockeys from 2005.

Mounted on a racing camel, which has an average speed of 40 kilometres (25 miles) per hour, the remote-controlled robot jockey displays remarkably similar gestures to those of a human jockey, even whipping the camel to make it go faster.

After "about 30 attempts" since launching the idea in April 2004, "the product is now ready," said Colot.

Human rights groups raised the alarm over the exploitation of children by traffickers who pay impoverished parents a paltry sum or simply kidnap their victims.

The children, mostly from Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and Pakistan, are then smuggled into the oil-rich Gulf states.

They are often starved by employers to keep them light and maximise their racing potential. Mounting camels three times their height, the children -- some as young as six -- face the risk of being thrown off and trampled.

Earlier this month, the United Arab Emirates successfully completed its first robot jockey exercise, with a ban on the use of jockeys aged under 16 and weighing less than 45 kilograms (100 pounds) also now in effect.

The UAE had in principle already banned the use of children under 15 since 1993, but abuses remain widespread and no one was ever prosecuted.

Property rights for the robot have been registered for Qatar.

"No one can manufacture (a robot) without the authorisation of Qatar," said Rashed Ali Ibrahim, a member of the Qatari committee charged with promoting robot jockeys.

According to Colot, "the Emirati model (resembles) a doll rather than a robot."

Doha is increasingly set on developing its own robot jockey, "notably with a movement of arms and battery-powered," said committee president Sheikh Abdullah bin Saud al-Thani, who announced a plan to create "a factory for robot jockeys" in the gas-rich Gulf state.

"We hope to introduce around 20 robot jockeys" in 2006 at Qatar's annual grand prix in 2006, he said.

While the Swiss manufacturer refuses to reveal the cost of the project, Sheikh Abdullah said that, "the first phase involved investments of some three million riyals (800,000 dollars)."
"This experiment can succeed and be generalised," said Fredj Fenniche, regional representative for the UN Human Rights Commission.

"Our way seeks to make Qatar a state of law and respect of human rights, and we won't tolerate going against this," said Sheikh Hamad bin Jassim bin Faisal al-Thani, president of the organising committee for camel races in Qatar.

Urdu society holds ninth monthly poetry session

GULF TIMES

Urdu society holds ninth monthly poetry session
Publish Date: Sunday, 24 April, 2005, at 12:03 AM Doha Time

QATAR’S India Urdu Society has held its ninth monthly mushaira (poetry session) in Doha. The mushaira, sponsored by Rashid Ali, was attended by a number of well-known personalities of Qatar. The Society is affiliated to Indian Cultural Centre (ICC) under the aegis of the Indian embassy.

The mushaira was presided over by Zafar Siddiqi, who teaches process engineering at Qatar Petroleum’s Training Centre. The chief guest was noted scholar, writer and poet Dr Khalilur Rahman Raaz, while Prof Ali Naqi, who teaches at Cornell Medical College, was the guest of honour.

The session started with the recitation of the Holy Qur’an by Qari Ghayathuddin. Jaleel Nizami, founder president of the society, presented a Na’at. Ateeq Anzar did the initial compering.

In his presidential address, Siddiqi complimented the organisers for their efforts to promote Urdu in Doha. He also offered his help and co-operation to the Society. Dr Raaz lauded the work being done by the Society in Doha, adding that the poetry session provides a great opportunity in learning new aspects about the language. Prof Naqi lauded the role played by the Society in popularising Urdu. He said: “Urdu is one of the world’s most popular languages and is spoken in many countries of the world.”

The poets who presented their works were Dr Raaz, Naseem Kazmi, Rasheed Niaz, Jaleel Nizami, Ateeq Anzar, A R Sadaf, A H Qabil, Dr Shams Madani, Asfandyar Ansari, Jatender Baja, Maqsood Khan and A Nabeel.

Noted singer Abul Khair sang a ghazal of Jigar Muradabadi. Maqsood Khan Maqsood compered the session. The Society presented gifts to all the participating poets. Jaleel Nizami proposed a vote of thanks on behalf of Rashid Ali. A feature of the mushaira was its integration of Urdu and Hindi poets and ghazals and nazms by Indian and Pakistani poets.

The Tortoise & the Hippo

Heidi Lynn Staples has this picture on her blog. I have this picture on my fridge.


Tortoise Mothers Hippo After Tsunami
by Thea Monday, Jan. 31, 2005 at 1:31 PM

A baby Hippo that survived the Tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast snuggles close a giant century old tortoise in an animal facility in Mombasa. The Kenyan government plans to send hundreds of exotic and endangered animals to Thailand in a wildlife swap that drew harsh criticism from conservationists and concern from tourism officials.

NAIROBI (AFP) - A baby-hippopotamus that survived the tsumani waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise, in an animal facility in the port city of Mombasa, officials said.

The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsumani waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

"It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park, told AFP.

"After it was swept and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatised. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother. Fortunately, it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond. They swim, eat and sleep together," the ecologist added.

"The hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it follows its mother. If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive, as if protecting its biological mother," Kahumbu added.

"The hippo is a young baby, he was left at a very tender age and by nature, hippos are social animals that like to stay with their mothers for four years," he explained.

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OTHER HIPPO FACTS:

Hippos make a variety of grunts, growls, screams, and other sounds while they are underwater to communicate.

Hippopotamuses live in groups of fifteen or more. These groups are primarily females and their young headed up by a dominant male. In the water or resting ashore, hippos tolerate even closer contact than pigs, regularly using neighbors as head rests. Female hippos will take turns "babysitting" large groups of baby hippos. During a fight, male hippopotamuses ram each other with their mouths open using there heads as sledgehammers, which brings their canines into play, and using their lower jaw to throw water at each other.

Hippos can "gallop" up to 18 miles per hour.

For Laila Tamer-Morael

Would that you were not dead,
but that instead you'd faked
your death to live a life without
family pressure and the business
of art, or that you were living a
life of art in Brazil. Would that you
had never gone to Brazil, that the
Lebanese civil war had been less
bloody, that getting an EU passport
were easier, or harder, that
art was less about business, that
business had more art, that your
poems and paintings were not
hidden in the upstairs back
corner of your gallery in Paris
but towards the front, that you
had never gone back to Paris--
no, I can't imagine that Paris is
ever a bad idea, but would that
you had gone back to Paris, which
you did, but that you stayed long
enough for Mark and I (or maybe
just Mark) to come and tell
you that in years of students you
were maybe one of two or three
that actually gave a shit about
it enough to paint and write
and open a gallery, would that
rescue fantasies were not just
fantasies. No, would that they were
(and they are), that telling someone
who hates their self how little in
there self there is to hate despite
the fact that there is so much to
hate in the world could actually
stop hate. Laila, you're not even
the first of Mark's former students
to die in this way, and my high school
friends have been dying sad, cliched,
Christmas day head on collisions,
my niece or nephew miscarried at
six months, all my birds died last
year because they were born
in breeding factories. I suppose I'm
angry. Would that anger could
bring back the dead, or keep the
wrong dead from dying. It doesn't.
But if I were Edgar Allen Poe,
handsome, sad and melancholy in
a white cravat, I would write the
tale of your disappearance in Rio,
you ghostly reappearance in Paris,
or here in Washington, DC at one
of the more obscure memorials.

Zombies and Florida

Recently mom was talking about a housing development in South Florida built on top of a cemetery. They didn't move any of the bodies and people kept digging up bones. Poltergeist! Even if it's not true, Florida is a good place for suburban horror and zombies.

The Same Things

The same things: leaving makes
love easy--people, place.
Emails with European evangelical
Christians--don't finish your
thought. I think I hate you
one a week, once a month--
you say it twice a year:
"I hate you." "I'm through with you."
Say we're through with not
saying how much we hate.
For example: Burning houses.
Our expanding neighbourhood.
Our neighbourhood sons. Dr. Phil
says anger is "really only" a combination
of three things: fear, hurt, and
something I can't remember--
don't finish my thought.
No wonder we feel so awful.